Entrusted

Growing up I was set on being a lawyer. A big bad lawyer that would come in and always save the day with elegant arguments, extensive research, and an innate passion to fight the good fight for people. I think the love came from a few Jodi Picoult books I read in middle school. She wrote impactful stories from the viewpoint of the characters being defended along with the lawyer doing the work of defending. She portrayed their work as honest and pure and I was sure that that was my calling. I was an avid arguer destined to be a debate team standout. My mom always joked that I should pursue law since I enjoyed fighting with her all the time (sorry mom...I was an angry and entitled kid). I think I was deterred from my "calling" when I realized I could potentially be defending people I didn't believe were innocent. Now, in line with my fighting spirit, I am an accountant. Life comes at you fast.

But one thing about this desire growing up has never left me and the idea behind being entrusted with the position of fighting for someone & recognizing that we are fought for every day.

The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still. Exodus 14:14. 

Growing up I had a best friend named Lilly who would always strategically invite me to church. We would have sleepovers on Saturday nights and I would be forced to wake up and go to church with her family. I would make excuses every time how I didn't have clothes to wear or I didn't know anyone there but always found myself tagging along against my will. This wasn't just a one-time instance but it happened routinely. She wasn't afraid of pushing me along to Christ when I wasn't willing to step out of my comfort zone and do it for myself. This continued into high school when she forced me to go on a week long summer trip to Illinois with 40 or 50 other random strangers that I had never met because she wanted me to know Jesus. She had friends in the youth group and she certainly didn't need insecure 16-year-old me there to enhance her experience. She fought for me to have a relationship with Jesus. She knew how much it changed her life and she refused to let those she loves settle for anything less. The following year she forced me to attend the church camp again when I was preoccupied with the fact that I would miss and entire week of workouts for fall sports. Because of that camp, I made the decision to get baptized and my entire life's trajectory began to change. All because Lilly showed up and fought for me. She knew the importance of Jesus in my life and fought for me. I didn't realize it then but it's much clearer now; God was fighting to know me and used my best friend to fight for my heart.

I've been pretty reckless and easily led astray throughout the years. Following my own desires and motivations led me into plenty of places of self-doubt and darkness. Sometimes developing a new relationship with Jesus looks a lot like asking if He really is there hearing us and bringing us the life promised to us or if it's just us constantly missing out on the shiny things this world has to offer. Satan does his job.

In every season of discouragement and doubt, people have shown up & fought. Countless times people have shown up and fought on behalf of my relationship with Jesus. Sometimes it takes much longer than we are hoping for and our seasons of discouragement are so unbearable that we refuse to welcome the light when it finally shines back in our direction. But God fights harder for us. He leads us to books we need to read to change our hearts, music we need to break down over, and people are entrusted to call the potential out of us. He finds ways to fight for us & our hearts most of the time without us understanding what is happening until much later.

I am so thankful for those that showed up and fought for me. Strangers, friends, teachers, colleagues, coaches...none received any immense gain from fighting for my relationship with Jesus. Some of them weren't even aware that that was the role they had in my life. Just as God sends people out to do this for us, He calls us to do this for others. He calls us to show up and give to others and lead them back to Him. To sacrifice our pride, our time, our reputations, our feelings, our desires in order to show up and act on behalf of others and fight for their walk with Jesus. To adequately prepare ourselves and our character so we can give to others when they need it most. I've been trying hard to focus on this lately when taking the extra time to be with God in scripture or in prayer gets to be mundane. I try to think not of the benefit I will receive, but maybe God will entrust me to relay what I am learning here back to someone else who needs to hear it more than I do right now. That if I am entrusted with a moment that someone else needs me to fight for them, that I am ready & equipped. That I have the courage to act because a life lived for others is one worth remembering in the end.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Proverbs 3:27.