My name is Kait. I am 21 years old and a student at the University of Nebraska at Kearney. I am going into my senior year of schooling, although I might have to be a super senior. I am studying finance and mathematics so essentially I'm a super nerd. I am a member of the UNK volleyball team, a student leader of UNK's FCA, a member of the Honor's Program, and Social Media Chair of Mortar Board. I love to read, enjoy sunsets, and go on outdoor adventures. I am a Gryffindor and would most likely be the first person killed in the Hunger Games.
I could also accurately introduce myself as Moses. Not that I'm a big part of the Bible and God talks to me through burning plants. But because I try to tell God not to choose me.
"So go. I will be with you when you speak. I will give you the words to say." But Moses said, "My Lord, I beg you to send someone else, not me." Exodus 4:12-13 (ERV)
I remember reading this and thinking whoa, God has just called me out. God just subtweeted me but through the Bible as He does. In every season of my life, in most situations that have been difficult, in trials, and in praises, I have nearly always asked God to choose someone else. I'm not qualified, I don't have a platform made for this, people don't respect me or listen to me here, nobody knows who I am. I have allowed myself my entire life to repeat these lies. I have allowed satan to win my thoughts and begin to believe these lies in my heart. I tell myself there is no possible way I can make a difference where I am. I believe satan's truths about me and he begins to win.
I have found myself ignoring God and ignoring what He speaks into me. "Go and tell that person about Jesus. Go start that Bible study. Go reach out to that person who seems to be struggling. Message that girl you met and invite her to coffee, she needs it you know. Be friends with that person everyone else ignores. Give up your time to serve at your church. Write that blog post that might empower others. Have that hard conversation." All these things God has spoken into me and I simply ignore because I am afraid of what others will think of me. I cling to my worldly reputation and reject kingdom work in order to keep my life comfortable and centered around me.
I have built my kingdom up around me and demanded perfection from myself for as long as I can remember.
This past year was different, though. It was a wake up call. In October, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that solidified the fact that I will never be perfect. My disease is permanent and striving for perfection became pointless as it was unattainable. This was a huge hit to my life goal - to be perfect. I couldn't grasp the fact that my life was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to fix what was wrong with me. I started to hide from God in my actions. I wasn't praying anymore or going to church regularly. I snapped at people, how could they not see the identity crisis that was going on on the inside? I slowly found myself running further and further away from God because my reputation wasn't what I wanted it to be anymore. I couldn't play volleyball because I was sick. I didn't have the energy to get the grades I wanted. I was failing people and letting people down and it just kept spiraling.
But God waits for us. Eventually Moses came around and said okay God what do you have planned for me? Where are you sending me? How can I help Your mission? Moses went on to do amazing things because he accepted what God was calling him to do.
I feel like Moses lately. I feel like I am finally ready to give up the kingdom I have built for myself in this world in order to further His kingdom. I am ready to start saying yes to what God has planned for me.
The mission in my life isn't to be perfect.
We are called to the greatest mission there ever was.I remember reading this and thinking whoa, God has just called me out. God just subtweeted me but through the Bible as He does. In every season of my life, in most situations that have been difficult, in trials, and in praises, I have nearly always asked God to choose someone else. I'm not qualified, I don't have a platform made for this, people don't respect me or listen to me here, nobody knows who I am. I have allowed myself my entire life to repeat these lies. I have allowed satan to win my thoughts and begin to believe these lies in my heart. I tell myself there is no possible way I can make a difference where I am. I believe satan's truths about me and he begins to win.
I have found myself ignoring God and ignoring what He speaks into me. "Go and tell that person about Jesus. Go start that Bible study. Go reach out to that person who seems to be struggling. Message that girl you met and invite her to coffee, she needs it you know. Be friends with that person everyone else ignores. Give up your time to serve at your church. Write that blog post that might empower others. Have that hard conversation." All these things God has spoken into me and I simply ignore because I am afraid of what others will think of me. I cling to my worldly reputation and reject kingdom work in order to keep my life comfortable and centered around me.
I have built my kingdom up around me and demanded perfection from myself for as long as I can remember.
This past year was different, though. It was a wake up call. In October, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that solidified the fact that I will never be perfect. My disease is permanent and striving for perfection became pointless as it was unattainable. This was a huge hit to my life goal - to be perfect. I couldn't grasp the fact that my life was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to fix what was wrong with me. I started to hide from God in my actions. I wasn't praying anymore or going to church regularly. I snapped at people, how could they not see the identity crisis that was going on on the inside? I slowly found myself running further and further away from God because my reputation wasn't what I wanted it to be anymore. I couldn't play volleyball because I was sick. I didn't have the energy to get the grades I wanted. I was failing people and letting people down and it just kept spiraling.
But God waits for us. Eventually Moses came around and said okay God what do you have planned for me? Where are you sending me? How can I help Your mission? Moses went on to do amazing things because he accepted what God was calling him to do.
I feel like Moses lately. I feel like I am finally ready to give up the kingdom I have built for myself in this world in order to further His kingdom. I am ready to start saying yes to what God has planned for me.
The mission in my life isn't to be perfect.
Not a mission to make ourselves the most popular, most well-known.
Not a mission to be the seen as the coolest.
Not a mission to date the best guy or get the best grades.
Not a mission to win every game.
A mission to bring others to Jesus, day after day after day.
To never give up on people and to invest in them when they need it most.
To serve God in this mission how He calls us to. Coaches, teachers, accountants, doctors, writers, construction workers, youth pastors. We are all called to serve in a way only we know how. God has created us so uniquely with talents, skills that no other person has.
This mission doesn't come without sacrifice though. I am learning how to surrender my life, little by little to the plans God has for me. Each day this looks different. Some days it's sacrificing extra time on homework in order to really spend quality time with God in His word. It can be leaving a friend group for a while because you don't have the strength to not follow their influence that leads you away from Jesus. Or leaving a comfortable relationship because Christ isn't truly at the center of it. Sacrificing your reputation and looking a little weird in order to step out of your comfort zone and have hard conversations that no one wants to have. To sacrifice your life and everything you have for the sake of the kingdom and to make Him known in all we do.
"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."
Luke 9:24
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